Merry Christmas Everyone

Christmas preparations are nearly complete at Chez Kistner. The paving and astro turf has all been laid, and we spent last night planting flowers in the dark. We are making a play area for Anya beside the bunnies - complete with a hideously multi coloured plastic wendy house which Hermann still has to assemble (?!). The turkey is defrosting, the oldies should be winging their way down from Greytown as I type, and we have a 'present infested' tree decorated living room which has been protected from all active toddlers by a maximum security baby gate. As Gitty's presents are also under our tree, it is actually looking quite obscene. We're worried that there won't be room for Carmen to wheel about in so she may have to park by the door!

On a more serious note, Anya is slowly recovering from her bronchitis and hot-dog induced asthma attack, and I have just about recovered after spending R700 on her inhalor. She has already managed to figure out how to rip the mask off (despite strict instructions from the box to never remove the mask - oops).

Anyway, here's hoping everyone has a fantastic christmas, preferably with snow. Lots of love and Christmas kisses - Rosie, Hermann and Anya

Hermann's Moto

Hermann is loving his new motorbike - getting up at extremely strange hours so that he can take it out before it gets too hot. As a Christmas bonus, today is actually a very nice temperature so he's off for a Christmas Eve drive, and we actually got to take a few photos (there was no way I was voluntarily getting up at 4.30am except to stick a bottle in the baby). I reckon he looks well cool!

Toy Town

Jos has made Anya a wooden toy town for Christmas which I've been painting - I thought some of you may be interested in the results...

Donna - I may have taken a few liberties with Auchterarder Motors. Similarly, I've taken a good dollop of artistic license when recreating Jackson's store. Hermannsburg Church has also been recreated (sort of). Finally, apologies to anyone offended by the star of David which managed to creep onto the mosque. Hermann and I thought there was a star as well as a moon. Ho hum. Maybe we should be back enrolling in Little School.

Surfer babe

When I first arrived in Durban, a cute Russian waitor told me that Durban had 10 months of summer and 2 months of hell. Make that 3! It is absolutely roasting here. Normally, the garage stays lovely and cool, but this morning the car thermometer still thought it was 30 degrees. Factor in the humidity and it must have been a long moment of madness that resulted in Hermann and I deciding to cycle down to the beach this morning. Durban is built on a hill, so cycling DOWN to the beach actually requires little effort, however, cycling back UP the hill is a killer. As usual, Anya was seated on the back of my bike, from which vantage point she likes to wave at the passers by. Luckily, Sean & Gitty met us at the beach which meant that Anya had a lift home. It was just too cute. Sasa, Luca and Anya paddled so nicely. Anya was copying Luca and pretending to swim by moving about on her hands in the water (when I took her nappy off she was a bit confused - because her legs and bottom suddenly floated). Anya even had her first time on a surf board. I was, of couse, my usual graceful self in the water, and didn't look at all like I was involved in a controlled drowning.

There is a moral to this story: swimmers and cyclists beware! Combining the two can result in some very nasty chafing...just ask Hermann!

It's litchie season

yippee - we're eating them by the crate!

Party On

Its been a crazy weekend. The rotten weather on Saturday meant that I volunteered to host our Ante Natal Group Christmas Party at our house. 11 toddlers later and the house looked like someone had sprinkled sausage roll pastry over every available surface. Here's a couple of photos for starters and I'll post a few more piccies on Facebook.

After a short 20 minute gap (just enough time to do a preliminary clean up) the next party started - lunch for Ralph & Ronel who were visiting Durbs for a week. Plus Brenda, Holger, Mark, Jan, Thomas and all the kids pitched up for mezze and a few beers followed by a late afternoon trip to the beach. Anya loved the waves and the kids had so much fun that we decided to hit the beach again on Sunday morning. This was followed by a braai at Brenda & Holger's, then Adventsfeier. I have to confess to being a bit confused by the lack of Advent bonfire (feuer) as opposed to Advent celebration (feier) however, there were tea and cakes served after the church service and Hermann got to sing ?! All in all it was a very exciting weekend and Anya was so exhausted by the time we got home that we even managed to change her nappy without her waking up.

Wild Coast Adventure

We're just back from a totally fantastic week in Umngazi. The weather was mostly gorgeous with only a couple of thunderstorms in late afternoons. Anya spent her holiday with Alicia in the 'Creative Corner' where she mostly discovered how to paint....everything! We spent our holiday going for walks, lounging in the spa and sleeping. Anya decided to eat nothing but cornflakes and sausages. We, on the other hand... ate, and ate, and ate, and drank. Burp.

Mum & Dad Leaving Drinks

The last 2 weeks with Mum & Dad have just flown by in what can only be described as a very prosperous fortnight for the South African wine industry. It was therefore only appropriate that Anya joined her Granny and Grandad for farewell drinks in the airport!

Mums & Babes

While waiting for Hermann and the other Dads to finish a Saturday 'Dads and Babes' class, Jennifer and I got talking to another Mum - our reputation as the rowdiest Mums & Babes class in Durban seems to have gone before us! I reckon they are all jealous that their class is just not as much fun as ours!! Mum & Dad joined for us for a class so we were all on our best behaviour. We were also surprised by a photographer coming to take the class 'graduation' photo (we go to Mums & Tots next year) so Dad got some sneaky shots in too. I reckon we don't look too bad having been given only 30 seconds notice!

Mum & Dad visit Durban

The oldies have been here for over a week now and time has just flown by. We've been to the zoo, the aquarium, Mums & Babes, the Deutsche Schule Christmas Market and spent the weekend at Highover Bush Camp. Carmen & Jos came for a braai on Sunday afternoon. Anya played with a log ?! and we spent the evenings drinking wine and playing backgammon (Dad has not managed to break Hermann's winning streak). We even managed to squeeze in a couple of walks round the farm. The weather was terrible and Anya was sick (as usual) but it was still good fun and as you can see from the photos our neighbours were pretty interesting too!

Halloween

Here's a wee photo of us all dressed up for Halloween. Morningside always has a big turnout for trick or treating. Hordes of kids take part and loads of people around the neighbourhood decorate their houses and dress up for handing out the sweets. Hermann manned our gate dressed in a skull mask while we did the rounds collecting our booty. I certainly wouldn't advise wearing a polyester gimp mask in 30 degree heat again - it was absolutely roasting!

Halloween isn't widely celebrated here in SA, so Benedicta's kids had never encountered a pumpkin before and weren't entirely sure what they had to do with witches and ghosts (who does know?). Nevertheless, the dressing up and legitimite begging for sweets was greeted with loads of enthusiasm. The kids got loads of sweets - far too many to eat in one go. Gugu announced that she was going to sell her surplus (entrepreneurial spirit is alive and well in Waterloo) and as Anya is too young for sweets we have been helping dispose of hers!

Why Germany Never Wins the Eurovision Song Contest...

Now that my ears have stopped bleeding, and I've had a glass or two of wine, I feel strong enough to update the blog on Hermann's latest cultural activity - restringing the Kistner family guitar and attempting to sing German folksongs. Gitty helpfully contributed by dusting off the guitar and a 40 year old song book and leaving them at our house with instructions for Hermann to practise. A very strange afternoon ensued, with Gitty & Hermann 'crooning' away at one end of the veranda while the rest of us pretended there was nothing strange going on. Even little Anya, whose bad taste in music is legendary, was reduced to tears after enduring one particularly horrendous rendition. I may well have nightmares tonight!

Bananarama

After several weeks of great anticipation, and a little post office related anxiety, our wallpaper has finally arrived from the UK. Our new office/library is going to go tropical, with a banana leaf print on our feature wall. The opposite wall is now wall to wall bookshelves meaning that we could finally unpack all the books we shipped from the UK. Whilst perusing Hermann's contribution to the Kistner library, I came across a very amusing little volume: "100 Mindsparks to light up your head, heart, body and soul". Mmmmm. There are 2 reasons why this is funny:

Firstly, Hermann says he got it free at some work related event - which does not quite explain why it is autographed 'dear Linda - live with passion'...

Secondly, and the main point of this little blogette, is that the first page I happened to turn to pretty much sums up our usual state of mind: "The reason why I love South Africa is that no-one knows what's going on. Confusion is the national state of mind".

We're very relieved the wallpaper arrived....

Filter Fest

Apologies if this blog entry is slightly more random than usual. Its probably the lack of sleep because this weekend we all trooped up to Paulpietersburg for FILTER FEST: celebrating 150 years since the Filter Family emigrated to South Africa to try and convert the locals. They must have been reasonably successful because there were around 400 Filter descendants gathered to celebrate in customary SA style. YES - it did involve a braai!

Our relatively 'little' branch of the family tree were all recognisable by wearing a blue dot on our name badges. We were also numbered according to our positions in the tree. Hermann was 17522. Number 1 was the original ancestor - Heinrich Filter, then Hermann is descended from the 7th son, his 5th son, his 2nd daughter and her 2nd son etc etc. Anya was the youngest descendant present and didn't let the side down. She was highly entertaining the whole day and even helped the conductor to conduct the brass band while dancing and accompanying the band with her tambourine.

Hermann, Carmen and Gitty enjoyed the weekend immensly. It was just a pity that the festivites were overshadowed by the most crippling of beds ever to have been put on this planet. Not only did it look like it was constructed of scrap metal found in the 1950's, but the mattress was actually concave. Consequently it was like sleeping on a precipice. The first night, Hermann and I took turns to swap sides when the pain of clinging onto the edge on one side got too much. The second night, Hermann shared the bed of doom with Anya. He hugged the edge while she squirmed in the middle. I spent the night on the sofa listening to a fish tank hum. Helpfully, there was a glow in the dark digital clock on the sideboard to inform me when I had only had 2 hours sleep.

Surprisingly, we didn't lose our sense of humour - even when Anya threw up in the car on the way home (again). However, I reckon that I have accrued a serious number of brownie points over this weekend and fully intend to cash them in soon!

Camping at Oribi Gorge

Despite atrocious weather forecasts we decided to go ahead with our camping trip to Oribi Gorge on the south coast of KZN. The weather was positively British! Luckily I had packed 2 fleeces, 2 sleeping bags, 6 blankets and a duvet so we were all toasty and warm. Anya had a great time playing in the tent, spotting birdies and generally terrorising the campsite. We arrived on Friday afternoon and spent the day pitching our tent and exploring the campsite. On Saturday morning we went for a drive through the gorge, trying to spot the elusive green twinspot - more like getting Anya to sleep in the car so we could get a break. We had brunch at the Leopard Rock Cafe which had amazing views over the gorge (Anya prefered to dance with the wooden statues in the shop - she has incredibly bad taste in music). Then we went to the gorge to look at people doing the big gorge swing and take in some more views. This involved a little bit of hiking for Anya. Little Miss Independance didn't want to be carried so she walked over the rocks herself. As you can imagine - progress was very slow. We also went for another little hike on Sunday morning - and as you can see from the photos - Anya didn't quite manage to walk the whole way!

Bad Hair Day

and that's just the dog....

Official Family Portrait

Here's the official family portrait for Anya's 1st birthday. As usual, Leonie took a load of stunning photos. Anya was her usual poppetuous self.

Life's A Chore

So many difficult decisions in life: banana or grape; swing or slide; Schnuppy or Dodo......

It's got to be done!

Sorry Mum - but the absurdities of life here in Durbs just cannot be ignored! Today's headline (obviously more important than Mbeki resigning):

TRAIN RUNS OVER BONKING COUPLE

Anya Update

In response to my Mum's request for more blog entries on Anya and fewer blog entries regarding the penis size of Durban's more trigger happy residents, here is a list of things that Anya now likes doing (in order of preference):

1) licking dogs and sharing her biscuits with Pedro
2) going crazy throwing books about in the library whilst doing a fairly good impression of an ambulance (woo woo woo woo)
3) emptying the tupperware cupboard
4) rummaging in handbags
5) pooing in corners or under furniture (she likes a bit of privacy)

Penis Trouble

The Daily News never fails to disappoint. The headline today read: 3 die in pub shoot out: row over penis size. Apparently 4 friends had argued over who had the largest penis - resulting in a shoot out. I wonder who was last man standing? We were even more amused to read that this drama had all taken place in the Liverpool Pub. Instead of reaching for their pistols, perhaps they should have read the small ads section of todays newspaper where The Great Nakundu is advertising muti that will not only result in penis enlargement, but also help bring back lost lovers, get promotion and remove Tokoloshes. If The Great Nakundu is unable to help there are also adverts from The Unbelievable Dr Obee, Doctor Karonga and (my personal favourite)100% Sunesh Herbalist. His penis enlargement cure is advertised as follows:

3. Penis Enlargement Using Cream (NO SIDE EFFECTS)it makes extra power M-L-XL in 15 minutes.

Thank You Notes

My new year resolution (see previous blog), to celebrate the spirit of Africa at every opportunity, ran out in the Post Office last week. There is now going to be a slight delay to the posting of all thank you notes. This is because the SA Postal Service cannot cope with small envelopes. Apparently you have to post them as medium sized envelopes for a whopping R16 each. However, medium sized envelopes CAN be posted as small envelopes for a far more reasonable fee of R4 each. This only makes sense in Africa.

Is Anya a Beach Babe?

The answer is a resounding NO! We went down to the beach cafe for breakfast this morning. All was well until Anya encountered sand. Now, its obviously not the first time Anya has been to the beach, but it is the first time she has attempted to walk on the beach. And she wasn't having any of it. An hour long hissy fit later, and Anya had spent her entire breakfast standing on one leg to limit contact with the sand!

Springtime

In the UK you can tell its spring when the daffies come out. Over here we can tell its spring because all the baby gheckos have hatched!

A Proliferation of Birthday Parties

It is officially the season of 1st birthday parties - for the next 2 months Anya has a party almost every week. There were 18 women in my ante-natal group, so to try and cut down on the size of everyone's parties we decided to have one joint party in the Botanic Gardens. It was chaos. The weather was too miserable for the gardens so Joe very bravely volunteered her house. There were 12 babies all toddling around and I don't think I actually managed to finish a single coversation. Taking (good) photographs was impossible, so instead I'll post up a photo from Axel's pirate party. Anya went in full fancy dress (the only baby to do so) but all the babies were given a pirate hat on arrival so she didn't feel too left out!

Anya's 1st Birthday Party

Thanks to everyone who gave Anya presents and cards for her 1st birthday. It was a gorgeously sunny day for her party and apart from Diana crashing enroute while telephoning for directions ( she reversed into an unsuspecting motorist) the day was a great success. Gitty made a very cute and tasty bee cake - but unfortunately Anya's legs need to grow a couple more inches before she can sit on her ride-on bee.

Welcome Back

We arrived back in SA last Friday - and in true African style we were victims of crime on our first night back. Some thieving git stole the aloes out of our pots at our front gate. Hermann suspects a muti collector from Cape Town (the aloes were not a KZN variety). Easy come easy goes - as also ably demonstrated by the arrival of our telephone line. Telcom has finally delivered and it only took 11 months!

Anya eats haggis, neeps and tatties

The culinary tastes of this child never fail to amaze me. After refusing most foods except sweet potato, cheese and bananas for the last 7 months, she totally hoovered a revolting plate of pulverised haggis, neeps and tatties. It looked like cat sick - eurgh! She's also started eating celery?!!

Hermann in Mourning

It was a very sad day for Hermann on Saturday as he took his motorbike out for its last run - Kinkell Bridge to the BMW Garage in Bishopbriggs, with an MOT in the middle. While Hermann was trying to wheedle the best price for his bike out of the garage salesmen, Froonchie amused herself by poking her fingers up the exhausts. To add insult to injury, an eager buyer was already trying out the bike for size as we pulled away - the seat wasn't even cold yet.

Anya with Granny and Grandad

On the Move

Anya is now officially walking. Although she's been taking the odd step now and then for a few weeks, she's never been brave enough to keep going. She saved it up for our last night in Provence when the lure of her little inflatable boat proved too great to resist. Grandad has now bought her possibly the most annoying musical stroller that Argos could supply. Anya loves it and has spent the last 2 days careering along the hall with a complete disregard to walls, furniture, or anyone who happens to get in the way. We are now faced with the logistical nightmare of getting this thing back to SA

Vive Le France

I am now officially in mourning for all things European. We've just spent a week in Provence with Kath, Jonny and Hannah. We were staying at a very laid back guest house (recommended by Sean & Brigitte) near Gordes. The breakfasts and evening meals were amazing and we 'made do' with food from the markets for lunch. All in all, it was a total cheese fest. We pottered around the little hill top villages, danced sur le pont in Avingon (well, under it) and generally had a fab time playing in the pool, drinking wine and chilling out. All the guests ate their evening meal together in the courtyard, and as there was no choice of menu, you ate what you were given. This is the only excuse I have, for admitting to eating a rather tasty lapin. Hermann now has his eye on Bongile and Phumuzile for our big Le Creuset pot. We also ate tripe sausages (not quite so tasty) at the Saturday night BBQ......

Anya Has Teeth and Hair

Just found this photo of Anya taken when Anya was 7 months old. How cute does she look!! I'd like to reassure everyone that she has grown some hair since then and is not destined to resemble her Uncle Andrew.

Back in the UK

We've been back in the UK for a couple of weeks now and its funny how you forget the little things e.g. exactly how cold the rain is in Glasgow; how much things actually cost in pounds (£2 for a mango for gods sake!) and how much walking in silly shoes you do whilst looking for taxis on a night out. And then there are all the important changes that have occurred while we've been gone - creme eggs now come in twists, there are no tolls on the Forth Road Bridge (can I have my pound back please) and most important of all, meeting the new owners of Kinkell Cottage (boo hoo). At least Anya had fun spotting chickens and peeing on Donna's new rug. Hermann and I also managed a night oot in Glasgow at One Devonshire Gardens which is a well posh hotel. We did feel slightly out of place going down for dinner in jeans and t-shirts, but wot the heck. Let's just say that we were very glad that we had bought a carry-oot and a large packet of mini cheddars at the offie beforehand. Hermann's starter was a plate of foam concealing some miniature lobster ravioli. At least my starter of asparagus required chewing rather than inhaling. I reckon that if you pieced together the lamb pieces of my main course they may just have made up one lamb chop - there were no veggies or spuds to speak of, rather the plate was decorated with some rather tasty ribbons of puree. Similarly, Hermann's pork belly wouldn't have satisfied a 2 year old. Oh well, it was all very very tasty and for pure comic value it was an experience.

Anya's Swimathon

Anya did her first ever sponsored swim last week - although she wasn't really sponsored (there was only one sponsor - me!) and she didn't exactly swim. She floated. Nevertheless, she did look extremely cute in her little wet suit and swimming cap. Not everyone is supportive of Anya's swimming lessons though. Despite assuring Benedicta that the pool is heated, she still regularly shouts after us that swimming is dangerous and bad for your health.

Beware the Bierfest

It was the Deutsche Schule Bierfest on Saturday. Hermann and Thomas have now scientifically proven that you cannot mix beer, schnapps and whiskey without horrific consequences. It was not a pretty sight.

The Wonderful World of Home Affairs

Conventional wisdom states that the British invented the queue. Well, the Durban Home Affairs department have elevated the queue to a whole new art form. Would you believe it - I've now been in SA for a whole year - and that means it's visa renewal time. So off to Home Affairs we went. And then we queued: we queued to collect the forms; then we queued to submit the forms; a week later we queued to submit the passport for stamping; and then we returned at the specified time to collect the passport.....only to find out that the Home Affairs office had closed an hour earlier. Just for a laugh they made us queue outside for another hour before telling us to go home. The next day we again returned at the appointed time. We handed in our names so that they would know which passports to process first. We waited some more. By this time the Blitz spirit had taken over and the atmosphere was remarkably jolly. We waited another hour. The lady came out. Read out a few names. No takers. We handed in our names again. Finally at 5pm (closing time and the equivalent of Home Affairs high noon)the lady appeared again and my name was the first to be read out. In keeping with my newly aquired African Spirit (see earlier blog) I did a victory cheer and dance up the aisle to collect my passport - much to the delight and amusement of my fellow inmates. And the good news? They gave me 2 years before I have to go back and queue some more.

The Daily Sun

Living in Africa can be really depressing at times. You only have to listen to the stories coming from Zimbabwe - or closer to home in Cato Ridge - and it makes you want to reach for your passport and get the hell out before you come face to face with a panga wielding loony. Add in load shedding, the AIDS crisis and the ever present poverty and crime problems and it's no wonder most people have an exit plan in place. On the other hand, most people will also remind you that Africa is a place of contrasts and for every voice of pessimism there is an equal voice of optimism. I have therefore decided to embrace the 'spirit of Africa'. My plan? READ THE DAILY SUN! It's the African equivalent of the News of the World and it is completely hysterical. Yesterday it headlined with "When a Pig is a Lion" warning readers not to be duped by conmen selling fake lion's blood. It also included a report about a mlungu (white person) living in a shack and a girl who woke up married. The evidence for this wedding was one very small ring that had been squeezed onto one exceptionally fat finger. To be honest, it looked like her finger was about to fall off and one can only surmise that she sold her story to pay for the impending medical bills.

Tent Pixie

We took advantage of the UK bank holiday weekend and went camping in our new tent. Froonchie had a great time helping to put the tent up. We stayed at Bazely Beach which was not exactly out in the sticks. It was only an hour back to Durban should we have needed to evacuate! The campsite was very civilised. The camp site staff brought you tea and helped you set up your tent; tea and scones were served every morning at 10.30am; the swimming pools were heated and they even had the rugby on (just don't mention the score). Nevertheless, we had our little challenges: Anya was still getting over her chest infection and puked all over me and my sleeping bag; we managed to forget one of the airbeds so we took turns sleeping on the cot mattress; I had a non alcohol related tummy bug and it was absolutely freezing at night (which explains the poncho). We survived 2 nights before heading back to Durbs to recover.

We're Easily Amused

One of the best things about living in Durban is the laid back social life - and its generally hot and sunny so a night out for us usually involves a braai and a bottle of wine. Friday night was no exception, with most of the neighbourhood meeting at the local sports club which is only a 5 minute amble from our house. There were braai packs on sale for the adults and a bouncy castle for the kiddies. Organised by the little old ladies, the highlight of the evening was the long anticipated raffle where a lone bottle of 'Lambrini' was up for grabs. Our braai tickets had all been numbered with one half dropped in the raffle pot and the remaining half kept by us punters. Imagine our surprise when the first raffle ticket pulled out the bag didn't have a number on, then the second and the third! Oh dear, some poor little old ladies had spent the last 2 hours folding a hundred or so raffle tickets without writing any numbers on them. CHaos ensued with little old ladies clucking about all over the shop. Not to worry - the Lambrini is being kept for next time. And it gave us something to chuckle about on the way home.

Someone Get Me a Pair of Spanx Now

There are times in one's life when the full horror of the truth finally becomes clear - the metaphorical lightbulb is switched on. There is no escape!!

Someone switch the light off! I've just enroled at the gym and have been informed that I am 37% fat - blinkin eck - its enough to drive someone to the bottle.

The full horror of being 'inducted' into the gym was only marginally offset when I was asked if Scotland was a 3rd world country...I wasn't quite sure what to reply but was at least able to reassure them that in Scotland we generally have electricity most of the time.

Banana Bonanza

It has come to my attention that the only recent responses to my blog have been from someone attempting to sell me cellulite products in Spanish. This is just not acceptable blogging behaviour - I absolutely deny having any cellulite anywhere on public display! Luckily, we now have an excuse to invite all our loyal readers to contribute to the blog. The first Kistner banana harvest is in. We now have 135 ripe bananas to dispose of. Dare I ask.....please post all your suggestions of what to do with them....

Ithala

The whole Kistner Clan headed up North to Ithala for Carmen's belated 70th birthday celebration: Jos & Carmen (Hermann's oldies), Gitty, Sean, Saskia, Luca and us. The drive up was pretty straight forward. We came up with the grand idea of leaving when Froonchie woke up - this meant we were on the road, bleary eyed and barely awake at quarter past five - just as well the roads were empty. Three hours later we had breakfast in Hluhluwe. Froonchie has finally decided that enough is enough. After 5 months of being force fed baby cereal she now refuses to even open her mouth when faced with bowls of tasteless mush - instead she had the full Safari Breakfast - egg, boerewors, onions, tomato, toast and even a mushroom (although after 5 minutes of chewing we sacrificed our fingers to fish the mushroom back out again). She obviously takes after Hermann - the only thing better than 'egg on toast' is 'cheesy egg on toast with a side order of bacon'.

Fuelled up and raring to go, we made it to Ithala by lunchtime. The drive up was stunning. At this point I'd like to introduce all you Brits to the lexicon of South African superlatives. Things are either stunning, divine (deeviiiiine) or hectic. I've also caught myself saying 'howzitt' on at least one occaison. Nevertheless, my vote for the most irritating phrase you will hear is "I'll do it just now". That means that whatever you were expecting to be done hasn't been done at all.

Anyway I digress, back to the story of our weekend game viewing. We saw lots of zebra, wart hogs and wildebeest but not much else. There was one lone elephant on the horizon but no close encounters because the weather was way too cold - even too cold for cockroaches. However, judging by the sounds coming from our chalet ceiling, we did have a large rat in residence. Luckily he stayed well hidden. Ithala was beautiful but Hluhluwe remains our favourite game park. So much so, I managed to persuade Hermann to stop over for an extra night in Hluhluwe on the way home.

Nearly Time To Start My New job

Bugger it - I'm not going. I'd rather eat cake!

Interesting Facts about the Dodo

1) The dodo is a fat pigeon and not actually related to the turkey
2) They were named dodo because the were so stupid - duh!
3) Curiosity did not actually kill the cat but it did kill the dodo - when the first sailors landed on the island of Mauritius, hundreds of dodos waddled down to the beach to say hello
4) It only took 30 years to eat them out of existance.

Happy Holidays

Its been a hectic few weeks with Hermann leaving me home alone with the Froonchie for 10 days as he had to go to Europe for work (and a spot of snowboarding). Life as a single mother is of course much easier when you have a maid 3 days a week. Nevertheless, the arrival of 3 new teeth means that I am as sleep deprived as ever. What a relief then, to finally have a holiday. After all, its been an outrageous WHOLE YEAR since our last holiday in Spain!!! We flew to Mauritius for 7 days and stayed in the Hilton Resort. Its not our usual type of holiday but it was absolute heaven. The beaches were gorgeous, scenery was amazing, and babysitters were plentiful. Froonchie had a great time playing in the sand and paddling in her little inflatable boat. Hermann went scuba diving and we even managed to squeeze in some day trips to the nature reserves and Port Louis. As befitted our luxury holiday, we travelled everywhere in great style. Hermann hired us possibly the smallest car on the planet. God knows how we managed to squeeze in 2 large suitcases, 2 smaller bags, a pram, the baby, Hermann and me. Luckily the stuffed dodo only joined the party at the airport on the way home.

Toothtastic

Anya now has 4 teeth - 2 on the bottom and 2 on the top. She can use these to great effect, biting fingers, ears, toes, Boudoir Biscuits and anything else she can put in her mouth. She has now been declared armed and dangerous.

Let Them Eat Cake.....

After 4 months trying to get our baby to eat solids it has become obvious that:
1) Vegetables are the food of the devil
2) Porridge will only be eaten to ward off starvation
3) Puree'd chicken looks like vomit.
We had been debating how it was possible that such a picky baby could possibly be the result of our collective food loving gene pools until we realised what she would eat: Biscuits and cheese!

Digging For Freedom

Happy Easter everyone, although the easter message may have got slightly forgotton in our house. When asked what day it was, Saskia replied "BUNNY TIME!". We celebrated by having a big family dinner followed by a very over the top Easter Egg Hunt. Saskia and Luca had to follow 'Ye Olde Treasure Map' showing the last known movements of the Easter Bunny. Luckily he was last seen in the garden of our house, with the clues leading to a huge 'egg nest' hidden in the bunny hutch. Hermann's parents were also down for the weekend and helped manage the chocolate induced carnage. By 4pm it was complete meltdown. Poor Luca was attempting to eat the chocolate eggs with the foil still on, Saskia was on a sweetie eating frenzy and little Anya found it all too much just being in the same house - and she had no excuse because she slept through most of the excitement!

All in all, it was a very enjoyable weekend. Nevertheless, there are a couple of points which need to be made regarding Easter in the UK versus Easter in South Africa. 1) A distinct lack of daffodils. 2) South Africa just doesn't do Creme Eggs (boo hoo). Instead they have a very inferior flat marshmallow version. It's a poor excuse for an egg - its not even egg shaped, and the chocolate isn't thick enough to pick off in the style of a Tunnocks Tea Cake. They just don't hit the spot like a creme egg does. However, and this is a big BUT, they DO sell them in boxes of 48, so if you eat enough the effects are the same.

Bongile and Phumu have also been celebrating this week. Their new bunny run has been completed. They now have a big fenced off area to run around in. They have spent the past 2 days attempting to dig a tunnel under the house. The fence has been reinforced with concrete but its anyones guess how long they will remain contained....

Shark Attack

Last night I was initiated into the world of South African rugby with a visit to the Absa Stadium to watch the Sharks play the Auckland Blues in the Super 14s. We were in the nose bleed seats - way up in the stands where the beer assisted atmosphere was great. The Sharks had scored before we had even reached our seats and then went on to trounce the Blues in the first half. The Blues fought back in the second half and I had great fun cheering and booing along with he crowd. Obviously I had very little clue about what was actually happening on the field - but the Sharks won so who cares!

Back to Work

Boo Hoo! My time as a yummy (cake eating) mummy is coming to an end. Paid employment beckons as I have accepted a job offer and start back to work on the 6th May with SQS. Its definitely a decision not based on money as SA salaries are not worth getting out of bed for. Instead I am looking forward to some non-baby related adult interaction, a spot of training (that elusive ISEB qualification) and Discovery Medical Aid (comes with free gym membership. I'll be doing a 4 day week so will still be able to go to 'Mums and Babes' for a spot of baby bonding. We have also booked a weeks holiday in Mauritius in April - yippee.

Baby Bronchitis

Its been a bit of a mad couple of weeks as poor baby Anya has had baby bronchitis. She had to go into hospital for antibiotic injections and physiotherapy (to clear her lungs). Luckily she is now back to her cheeky self but we are still trying to catch up on our sleep!

The Garage is Jinxed

Its been a bad week for the poor Hyundai as I have managed to scratch it twice. Once reversing out of the garage (understandable) and once driving into the garage! The second scratch - right down the back right hand side of the car - was not quite so easy to explain. However, I blame the fact that I was concentrating too hard given the first small collision. Now the garage doors don't open properly so you get a full upper body workout trying to get the door pushed up past the dent. Oops.

The Hermannsburg Mudman

This weekend was the Hermannsburg Mudman Triathlon. Well done to Wolfgang (swimming), Hermann (25km mountain cycle) and Brenda (Running) for competing in the team race. It was a roaster of a day. Me, Anya, Jan, Katharine, Kate and Jess spent most of the afternoon camped under the trees at the side of the sports field waiting for the runners to finish the race. By the time all Jan's friends had arrived, there were 9 toddlers and babies. It was organised chaos. Kate & Jess competed in the Mudskippers competition for preschoolers and were very cute when they ran the last lap, with Brenda, to help her over the finish line. True to form, 'the boys' took ages to return from getting showered and changed. Eventually we went to look for them and found them exiting the beer tent, beers in hand! The evening was topped off with a braai at Mark's Uncle Dieter's. It was a great evening, but despite Mark's best efforts to get everyone to stay, the Mum's and Babes had the last say. By 9pm it was the witching hour and by 10.30pm there were kids passed out everywhere. The Froonchen slept through most of the noise and dodgy music, only waking up briefly when we got back to Greytown. Just as well, as Hermann was pissed, sunburned and knackered. Nevertheless, he still managed to get up for the 3am feed!

Prawn Cocktail

If Anya won't eat her porridge then there is a queue of wildlife waiting in the wings. We usually dump dirty washing on the floor in the downstairs toilet as this is where the washing machine lives. Last Friday I nipped in there for a pee and mid flow was distracted by something I saw moving out the corner of my eye. I was horrified to discover the pile of dirty washing was crawling with cockroaches - all attracted by the bountiful harvest of regurgitated baby porridge. Needless to say, I screamed blue murder until Hermann came to rescue me. This involved borrowing my flip flop and thrashing the pile of washing until there was a suitable number of decapitated cockroaches strewn accross the floor. Its amazing how much cockroach shit can be generated in such a short space of time. Over here they call cockroaches the 'Durban Prawn'. If there was ever a reason to avoid prawn cocktail then this is it!

Porridge Trauma

After 6 weeks of feeding our little baby solids, it has become apparent that Anya has not mastered the art of eating. However, she does have the 45 minute raspberry down to a fine art. It turns out that we have a very picky baby (Hermann is now questioning parentage - she can't possibly come from his gene pool if she turns down food). This baby WILL NOT eat porridge of any variety unless mixed with copious amounts of stewed pears. Our hopes of sleeping through the night (well at least until 5am) have been well and truly dashed and to cap it all, the Froonchen is now officially under weight for her height. Memories of being force fed boiled courgettes with tomato ketchup have come flooding back as I am now equally guilty of trying to force feed the baby a pear and porride mix that resembles wallpaper paste.

Flying Blue

Anya may not have been flying blue but I certainy was. I gave up my very expensive business class seat so that a certain little someone would have room to play. On the flight from Edinburgh to Schipol we let Anya 'read the newspaper'. This resulted in one baby covered in newspaper print and one parent covered in chewed up newspaper. On the long haul flight back to SA we discovered that sick bags had greater waterproofing properties. Nevertheless, 11 hours is a long time to amuse a baby. We were completely knackered whereas Anya was having a great time and only fell asleep on the drive back to Pretoria. As you can see, she was in her element - I spent the flight perched on one cheek on the end of the seat!

Daddy's Girl

I've morphed into the parent from hell and started indiscriminately posting photos...but this one is sooooooooooooo cute..........

To ship or not to ship

After 3 weeks of no sleep (see earlier blog about the lurgy) it was very tempting to also ship the baby............

Family Gatherings

We had a fun family lunch in Penicuik so that Auntie Barbara, Auntie Connie and Uncle Jack could meet Anya. My attempts to video Christmas messages from everyone present was brutally subverted. I'm not sure that my editing skills will be able to strip out the rude jokes, burping, farting and general chaos. On the other hand I may just keep the video unedited to illustrate our dysfunctional family. If Anya turns out alright I'll be able to show her what she was up against.

Happy Hogmany

Its been a mad 3 weeks in Scotland. We've been busy trying to see everyone, sell the cottage, pack up boxes for shipping and eat as much yorkshire pudding as humanly possible. We abandoned the baby with the Grandparents so that we could celebrate the New Year in traditional style i.e. in a posh frock, shoes abandoned, dancing our pants off with a glass of champers or two in hand. Its been a fantastic trip but after 3 weeks of cold rain we're looking forward to seeing some sun. The baby has been wrapped up like an eskimo but still managed to catch the lurgy. Thank God for Calpol.