Merry Christmas

Apologies for the lateness in updating this blog, but to be honest, we've just been having too much fun! Kath & Jonny's 'quiet' holiday in Durbs has been totally hectic! Anya & Hannah are best friends already and are mostly playing dressing up. This involves emptying Anya's wardrobe every morning before we are all up, and parading around in jammies, tutus and an assortment of tiaras, fairy wings and cheap plastic bling. In between wardrobe changes we managed to squeeze in a few days up at Giant's Castle. The weather was variable, but the sun shone on our second day so we decided to hike up to the Main Cave. What was supposed to be a 1.5 km walk, turned out to be 2.4km one way. I was lugging Solveig around in the kangol pouch (hot work) and Hermann ended up carrying Anya most of the way (hotter work). In the end, Anya was so tired she slept on Hermann's shoulder most of the way back and had to be revived on promise of an icecream. We took the scenic way home from GC, via a picnic at Spioenkop - always good for spotting zebra, giraffe and the usual assortment of bokkies. It's good to have instant gratification when 'game spotting' with toddlers! Back in Durbs we've managed the usual visits to Wet N Wild, the Dolphin By Starlight Christmas show, and a trip to the fun fair at the shopping mall. I also hosted our annual Christmas party which Hannah attended while Kath, Jonny & Hermann escaped the building. Then Christmas arrived and the kids had a blast. Anya was very excited about Santa and Baby Jesus's birthday despite the apparent lack of a bouncy castle in the proceedings. Anya and Hannah got matching doctors outfits so they have been dispensing medicine left right and centre. This was just as well given the hangovers on Christmas Day. Hermann outdid himself on the Christmas Eve bubbly, but at least managed to stop chundering in time to enjoy Christmas dinner. I cooked for the whole family, including the kleptomaniac Granny Peggy who arrived with her plastic dinner box, all ready to snap up the leftovers. The last of the trifle and turkey is now a distant memory, and we're all vowing to start the diets in the New Year. In the meantime, a big thank you to everyone who sent the kiddies a Christmas gift and here's wishing everyone a happy and prosperous 2010! Ta ra for now, Rosie, Hermann, Anya & Solveig XXXX

Only in South Africa

Sky News happened to be on in the background while I was on the phone to my friend Lulu. After a momentary pause to watch if the silly bint who fell in front of a train was actually going to get squashed, and the subsequent conversation regarding different ways to top yourself (live on Sky wasn't one of them) Lulu told me this very un-PC story about an acquaintence of her's in Pretoria:

Depressed because of his restaurant business failing, this bloke decided to commit suicide by gassing himself in his car. He woke up a few hours later on the lawn in front of his house. Whilst unconscious, he had been hijacked and his car stolen. Lulu says he never tried to commit suicide again....

Understanding South Africans - Tips for 2010:

Everyone who's been over to visit will be able to tell you that quite a few SA words have crept in to my vocabulary. My German teacher Gisela sent me this email today in order to further my education.....

Eishh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Probably the equivalent of "Jislaaik")

Braai
What is a braai? It is the first thing you will be invited to when you visit South Africa . A braai is a backyard barbecue and it will take place whatever the weather. So you will have to go even if it's raining like mad. At a braai you will be introduced to a substance known as mieliepap.

Ag
This one of the most useful South African words. Pronounced like the "ach" in the German "achtung", it can be used to start a reply when you are asked a tricky question, as in: "Ag, I don't know." Or a sense of resignation:"Ag OK, I'll have some more mieliepap then." It can stand alone too as a signal of irritation.

Donner
A rude word, it comes from the Afrikaans "donder" (thunder). Pronounced "dorner", it means "beat up." A team member in your rugby team can get donnered in a game, or your wife can donner you if you come back from a braai at three in the morning.

Eina
Widely used by all language groups, this word, derived from the Afrikaans, means "ouch." Pronounced "aynah".You can say it in sympathy when you see your friend the day after he got donnered by his wife.

Hey
Often used at the end of a sentence to emphasize the importance of what has just been said, as in "You're only going to get donnered if you come in late again, hey?" It can also stand alone as aquestion. Instead of saying "excuse me?" or "pardon me?" when you have not heard something directed at you, you can always say: "Hey?"

Izit?
This is another great word to use in conversations. Derived from the two words "is" and "it", it can be used when you have nothing to contribute if someone tells you something at a braai. For instance, if someone would say: "The Russians will succeed in their bid for capitalism once they adopt a work ethic and respect for private ownership." It is quite appropriate to respond by saying:"Izit?"

Ja well no fine
This is another conversation fallback. Derived from the four words: "yes", "well", "no" and fine",it roughly means "OK". If your bank manager tells you your account is overdrawn, you can, with confidence, say: "Jawelnofine."

Klap
Pronounced "klup" - an Afrikaans word meaning smack,whack or spank. If you spend too much time in front of the TV during exam time,you could end up getting a "klap" from your mother. In America, that is called child abuse. In South Africa , it is called promoting education.

But to get "lekker geklap" is to get motherlessly drunk.

Lekker
An Afrikaans word meaning nice, this word is used by all language groups to express approval. If you enjoyed a braai thoroughly,you can say: "Now that was lekkerrrrrrr!" while drawing out the last syllable.

Tackies
These are sneakers or running shoes. The word is also used to describe automobile or truck tyres. "Fat tackies" are reallywide tyres, as in: "You've got lekker fat tackies on your Vôlla, hey?"

Dop
This word has two basic meanings, one good and one bad. First the good: A dop is a drink, a cocktail, a sundowner, a noggin. When invited for a dop, be careful! It could be one sedate drink or a blast, depending on the company. Now the bad: To dop is to fail.If you "dopped" standard two (Grade 4) more than once, you probably won't be reading this.

Saamie
This is a sandwich. For generations, school- children have traded "saamies" during lunch breaks. In South Africa you don't send your kid to school with liver-polony saamies. They are impossible to trade!!

Bakkie
This word is pronounced "bucky" and can refer to asmall truck or pick-up. If a young man takes his "girl" (date) in a bakkie it could be considered as a not so "lekker" form of transport because the seats can't recline.

Howzit
This is a universal South African greeting, and you will hear this word throughout the country. It is often accompanied with the word "Yes!" as in: "Yes, howzit?". In which caseyou answer "No, fine."

Now now
In much of the outside world, this is a comforting phrase:"Now now, it's really not so bad." But in South Africa , this phrase is used in the following manner: "Just wait, I'll be there nownow." It means "a little after now".

Tune grief
To be tuned grief is to be aggravated, harassed. For example, if you argue with somebody about a rugby game at a braai and the person had too much dop (is a little "geklap"), he might easilyget aggravated and say.:"You're tuning me grief, hey!". To continue the argument after this could be unwise and result in major tuning of grief..

Boet
This is an Afrikaans word meaning "brother" which is shared by all language groups. Pronounced "boot" but shorter, as in"foot", it can be applied to a brother or any person of the male sex. For instance a father can call his son "boet" and friends can apply the term to each other too. Sometimes the diminutive "boetie" is used.But don't use it on someone you hardly know - it will be thought patronizing and could lead to you getting a "lekker klap".

Pasop
From the Afrikaans phrase meaning "Watch Out!", this warning is used and heeded by all language groups. As in: "The boss hasn't had his coffee yet - so you better pasop boet" Sometimes just the word "pasop!" is enough without further explanation.Everyone knows it sets out a line in the sand not to be crossed.

Skop, Skiet en donner Literally "kick, shoot and thunder", this phrase is usedby many South African speakers to describe action movies. A Clint Eastwood movie is
always a good choice if you're in the mood for of a lekker skop,skiet en donner flick.

Vrot
Pronounced - "frot". A expressive word which means"rotten" or "putrid" in Afrikaans, it is used by all language groups to describe anything they really dislike. Most commonly intended to describe fruit or vegetables whose shelf lives have long expired, but a pair of old tackies (sneakers) worn a few years too long can be termed "vrot" by some unfortunate folk which find themselves in the same vicinity as the wearer. Also a rugby player who misses important kicks or tackles can be said to have played a vrot game - opposite to a"lekker" game (but not to his face). A movie was once reviewed with this headline: "Slick Flick, Vrot Plot."

Rock up
To rock up is to just, sort of arrive (called "gatecrash" in other parts of the world). You don't make an appointment or tell anyone you are coming - you just rock up. Friends can do that but you have to be selective about it. For example, you can't just rock up for a job interview.

Scale
To scale something is to steal it. A person who is"scaly" has a doubtful character, is possibly a scumbag, and should rather be left off the invitation list to your next braai.

Ja-nee
"Yes No" in English. Politics in South Africahas always been associated with family arguments and in some cases even with physical fights. It is believed that this expression originated with a family member who didn't want to get a klap or get donnerred, so he just every now and then muttered "ja-nee". Use it when you are required to respond, but would rather not choose to agree or disagree.

Big Sister Loves Little Sister

OK - its a terrible photo of me looking like someone half dragged me out of the shower - and obviously the boobs are in danger of eclipsing poor little Solveig - but Anya is just loving being a big sister now!

Safety Comes First

Anya wanted to wear a motorbike helmet - just like her Papa!

Anya Rocks it at the Goldfish Concert

It may have been all the iced zoo biscuits Anya ate, but she had a fantastic time dancing at the Goldfish Concert in the Botanic Gardens on Sunday. Solveig spent the entire concert looking a tad startled (not sure if this was a good thing or not but as loads of other people also took their babies, we'll just join the queue at the ear clinic....). It was a gorgeous afternoon. We packed a few beers, a picnic and joined our friends for an afternoon of wicked tunes. Hermann and I even recognised a couple of the songs. See - we are cool happening people after all - OK, maybe not - but at least Anya will be able to say she had good taste in music from an early age. Not like her Mum, who's first single was Agadoo!

Grandparents Visit

Its been a hectic weekend with both sets of Grandparents in town. Oma & Opa are staying with Gitty, and my parents are staying with us for another week and a half.

Solveig Arrives Safely

I can only marvel at the wonders of modern medication as I sit here at the computer, buttocks clenched in another feeble effort to keep the voltaran suppositary in, typing away, while the Grandparents cuddle the latest addition to the Kistner Clan - little Solveig. Born 9th October, shortly after 1pm, weighing in at 3.59kgs and 55cms long. Practically a carbon copy of her sister Anya.

Solveig, of course, saved up 3 days worth of wind for her first night at home. Prior to that, we had 3 blissful nights in Parklands. She was only feeding once every 3 hours and went even longer between feeds at night. I had my lovely private en-suite room, a large packet of Woolies chocolate digestives and lots of drugs. Just as well, if I'm going to have to contend with a piddly 2 hours sleep per night for the forseeable future.

Anya was initially very wary of her little sister, but is now loving Solveig and even offering to share her Schnuppy - a dubious honour which involves being hit on the head with the dog, or even worse, being asked to kiss the dog.

We all went to the Botanic Gardens this afternoon so Anya is completely buggered. Dad had to sit in the boot of the car with the pram - he says he's now a true African. Dad & Hermann have tickets for the rugby on Saturday, but until then I anticipate a week of doing not very much.

Happy Wanderers

What a cracking weekend! We're just back from our weekend away to Happy Wanderers campsite - doon the south coast. And what a laugh! The weather all week was appalling, propmpting more than a few sarcastic texts from Lulu, who woosed out on the experience on account of being too pregnant. We know you really wanted too!! The howling gale that we woke up to on Friday morning ensured that the mobile networks were kept busy - but us hardy foreigners were all still up for it. Just a light breeze.....

It was a lunchtime departure, and in true toddler fashion, none of us managed to leave on time. Us, the Makepeaces (Jen, Rob, Anya's BFF Emily, and Baba Joe) and the Millards (Ronin, Diana, Harvey, Clara & Mustard the dog) all left in convoy. And a right motely crew we looked too. Diana's car looked like as if it had been packed by the Beverly Hillbillies (direct quote from the missus) and there were some strange going ons with Rob's roof rack that necessitated an emergency pull over at the services. Who knew that packing a surf board bag full of mattresses would result in a 90 degree bend which made it look like they were giving the finger to all traffic following behind. Just a tad alarming!

The campsite was only an hour from Durban, and with all the little people having an afternoon nap on the journey down it was full scale excitement on arrival. Claudia, Terry & Keto arrived soon after. As did Rob's brother Reg and friends Quin & Jess. It only took an hour of lively discussion to decide where to put the communal area gazebo and pitch all the tents. In the meantime, the kids were making themselves at home, checking out the beach and playing in the dirt. With the kitchen and bar set up, it was time for the traditional braai (no surprises there) and once the kids were in bed the party lights went on, music was turned up and the whiskeys were poured - it was very cold after all.

Saturday was a glorious day - warm, sunny, beach on your doorstop, monkeys to chase (Mustard) and good company. The kids played with their dolly prams - although you do get strange looks when you take 3 little blonde toddlers for a walk/waddle whilst 8 months pregnant - NB since the baby has now obviously dropped the girls give me a week! Milk anyone?

Delia & Michelle arrived Saturday afternoon to join in the fun. Jess made all the kids gorgeous little shell necklaces, and Mustard went crazy chasing mongooses. The kids were absolutley shattered by tea time leaving the rest of us to party on. It was Terry's birthday so there was actually a reason to celebrate. We don't normally need a reason... Anyway, the campiste had put on a big bonfire on the beach plus disco so after dinner, the carryoots were packed and off everyone went. Except me & Hermann who went to bed. Little did we know that our merry campers were going to party in style. Without casting any stones (Diana) a slight tussle with the DJ over a Nirvana CD resulted in some argy bargy from the jealous girlfriend. And after igniting the sparks of conflict a full scale bar brawl developed. A hasty retreat ensued.

Ha ha, it made for some interesting stories over breakfast - especially when it transpired that they had unwittingly gatecrashed a private party. Oh well, we'll be booking in under a different name next time.

Anya's 2nd Birthday

We can hardly believe it. Our little poppet is now 2 years old and being a tad hormonal, just the first few bars of 'Happy Birthday' were enough to start me blubbling. And I got plenty of practise over the next 3 days! Anya's big early morning present opening literally stalled after just a couple of presents. Opa's market stall, her little cash register and her shopping trolley kept her far too busy to even consider opening any other presents. She had a little birthday party & cake at Janine's (play school) but was still too busy playing with her shop to open presents in the afternoon. Some serious pester power from Saskia led to the opening of another couple of presents, and then it was back to playing with the shop. We attempted to open a few more presents on Friday, but then the bouncy castle arrived for the weekend. Saturday was her big party. 15 kids + 1 bouncy castle = hassle free party, although we were a bit dubious after seeing the piccies of Hannah's broken leg! The party lasted from 10am to 8pm when Hermann took off to Diana & Ronin's for pizza and beer, leavng me to finally relax.

All I can say, is that you know life is pretty good, when you can take off down to the beach for breakfast instead of clearing up the post party rubble. Sit in glorious sunshine, sipping a nice latte and watching your little girl (no longer a baby) play in the sand!

10 Day Safari - Hluhluwe, Impila, St Lucia & Warmbad

The last weekend in July saw us all going up to Hluhlwue for the Kistner Clan annual weekend away. We decided to go for the early morning 5am start, working on the theory that Anya would sleep for at least a couple of hours. No such luck. By the time we got to Empangeni for breakfast we were sick of listening to the Mums & Tots CD on loop. Little did we know, that this would be the soundtrack for the next 10 days! We got to Hluhluwe with plenty of time for a long game drive to Hilltop Camp, arriving there at pretty much the same time as Oma & Opa. Anya was very excited to see them and even presuaded Opa up the jungle gym! Gitty & Sean arrived mid afternoon by which time we were nicely settled into our 2 bedroomed chalet. It had a massive living & kitchen area which was great for the kids as the weather was minging. Gitty, Sean, Sasa & Luca stayed ina rondavel further down the camp. The kids really enjoyed spotting bokkies (impala) and elephant poo, which was just as well, because there wasn't much else to see. Nevertheless, we still had a great weekend, with minimal back seat tantrums, once we figured out that it was best to keep Anya & Luca in separate cars! We extended our stay with a couple of nights in Impila - lion spotting. The weather proved a challenge as it rained for most of our stay. As we were in a one roomed chalet, Anya proved a little difficult to entertain. She also objected to having her campcot parked in the shower cabinet. This resulted in one late night removal during which time Hermann fell over a bag and impaled himself on the bed post - thereby breaking the few remaining ribs that he has left intact. Anya, sensing this was NOT a good time to make a fuss, helpfully fell asleep instantly. To complicate matters Impila only has electricity until 10pm and we had forgotton a torch so the entire proceedings took place by mobile telephone torchlight..... And, as usual, despite numerous game drives, everyone else spotted lions except us! Bruised, but not dispirited (bush spirit and all that), we continued onto St Lucia to enjoy the hospitality of Roly (Brenda's brother). We also met up with Uwe & Jenny who had rented a holiday home for the week. Anya got to play with little Brendan, and we got to braai in peace. We met up the next day for a trip to the beach, lunch at the boat club involved hippo & croc spotting (wouldn't want to go swimming in that estuary) and dinner at Roly's with Anya & Brendan both passed out and fast asleep. You could tell it was a good night when Uwe took his shoes off to get comfy and settle in for the long haul at midnight! By this time me & Jenny were more than ready for bed - Jenny is also expecting a baby in October. The next day we headed up to Warmbad (near Paulpietersburg) via Pongola where we visited an old friend of Hermann's. We stocked up on supplies at the Pongola OK Shop (any supermarket decorated with huge red teddies goes down well with Anya), manouevered our way through the roadworks (2 years down and 2 years to go) and off to the farm. I was expecting a basic farmhouse but what we got was 5 star lodge luxury. A lovely rondavel; the comfiest bed of our trip; hot water so long as Holger made a fire at 5am every morning; a complete food fest and the entire Vorwerk family to help with babysitting. It was a fantastic weekend. The kids had a brilliant time going on little game drives to the river and playing on the trampoline. We even did folk singing around the campfire (with yodelling)which I attempted to capture on video. Lets just say that I'm not going to be winning any Oscars anytime soon. Thanks Brenda, Holger, Hannah & Helmut for a fantastic weekend.

Lock Down

How to mortify your parents step 1:

Got to friends christening party.
Remove the only set of front door keys from front door.
Hide in garden.
Large search party required as friends leaving for the Berg early next morning!

How to freak your parents out step 2:

Lock yourself in spare bathroom with equally naughty cousin Luca.
Discover spare key is on same keyring.
Spend 15 minutes giggling maniacally while being incapabale of turning key in correct direction. (At least Luca tried.)
Hermann climbs onto veranda roof to direct operations from outside.
More giggling.
Hermann forces open bathroom window and tries to persuade the little people to post key through the resulting small crack.
Lots more giggling.
Pregnant woman half way onto veranda roof with pair of tweezers to assist.
Key finally retrieved.

July Update

I'm well aware of the scarcity of blog entries, but this is soley due to the fact that not much happens round here, unless you count the whopping 10kg increase in my waistline (still hoping for that post ceaser tummy tuck - what do you mean that's an urban myth!!!!) and the regular trampolining on my pelvic floor - yip - baby number 2 has decided to adopt exactly the same posture as Anya did which is feet down and jump up and down as fast as you can.

Things have not been helped by the marathon cleaning session that Dida and I ended up doing a couple of weeks ago. Why is it that even the nice tenants are completely minging? We had new tenants arriving in our flat, and one look at the bathroom assured me that some professional cleaning was required. Dida and I donned the rubber gloves and ventured forth. I have to say that I never knew that African pubes could be so stubborn. We had to tackle the bathroom with pot scourers. And as for the drains - blinkin eck - Dida assures me that it is the lethal combination of Afro hair and hair oil that does it. All I can say is - Eurgh! The baby cockroach exodus from under the kitchen sink was of old testament plague proportions. I could have freaked out at this point but I was still traumatised at having to chip the old chewing gum off the bottom of the bathroom sink.

My metamorphosis into domestic goddess took another turn when Carmen lent me her sewing machine to make dolly blankets and hopefully Anya's new bedroom curtains. After Gitty took it off buttonhole setting I was even able to sew a straight line (nearly). I've been searching the shops for curtain material but to no avail. Unfortunately, the curtains I want cost a whopping R8000 - so I've been hunting for alternatives. This took the form of surfing many a UK website and trying to convince Mum & Dad that they can spend 3 weeks in SA with only 1 spare pair of knickers in their suitcase plus 14 metres of curtain fabric. As you can imagine, that suggestion went down almost as well as when Hermann tried to persuade Dad to board a plane wearing a pair of motorbike boots and a motorbike helmet.

Oh well, more curtain shopping tomorrow. I now have a pair of dressmaking scissors (b'day pressie from Anya) so am armed and dangerous. Will keep you all posted!

No Need For A Babysitter

No need to send social services round, we did take her out eventually.

Baby Number 2

Had the anomoly scan (at 21 weeks) yesterday. All is fine. Baby number 2 probably still a girl but baby was curled up so quite hard to see.

Snake Attack

Yesterday was a bit traumatic for Benedicta - she got one helluva fright after a snake jumped out of the banana tree beside the washing line and set up camp in one of Hermann's cycads. I bravely went to investigate armed with a walking stick (one of Ronald's wedding presents - you always knew it would come in handy one day!) and despite all the screeching (Benedicta was in full voice) managed to spot this little fella. As you can see from the photos, it wasn't quite the green mamba that Benedicta had identified - more like a long green worm. Anyways, once I had hung out all the washing (Dida now refusing to go near the washing line) we did a spot of snake identification on the interweb and reckon its an Eastern Natal Green Snake - commonly known as a house snake and perfectly harmless.

Baby Number 2

Hermann is going to be seriously outnumbered. Baby number 2 is probably a girl.

Mother's Day

Whew! Got a bit more time on my hands now that I am feeling a bit better and Lynne has moved on - shame - we tried our hardest to persuade her to stay. All that sun, sea, gin & tonic sundowners and the lazy Durban lifestyle still didn't persuade her. Instead, she has come to the same conclusion that all of us in the Foreign Legion share - Durban is BORING! Yet again, we were the last people to leave Mo's Noodles and it was only 10pm. How can it be right that several breastfeeding and pregnant foreigners can outlast the locals?

Anyway, here are some piccies, primarily for Mum & Dad. While we were away for the weekend at Claudia's wedding in Dargle, Anya was staying over with Sasa & Luca. It was Mother's Day on the Sunday so the little cuties made biscuits (and then ate them all).

Big Announcement

OK, for everyone who is not on Facebook, Hermann is very pleased to announce the newest (and the last) member of the Kistner clan is due to make an appearance on the 13th October. Its going to be a planned ceaser as my pelvis has said a big NO NO NO to natural birth. I continue to be highly allergic to all stages of pregnancy and hope to pick up my sense of humour sometime in 2010.

Sodwana

Whoever put the 'Sod' in Sodwana has obviously been camping with a toddler - and even worse - 3 toddlers - when Gitty & Sean joined us for the last few days!

It was a very eventful break. All started smoothly enough. Hermann and Craig went up before us with the boat. Lynne, Anya and I followed after lunch. Setting up the camp took a bit of time, but it was worth the effort. We had a central kitchen area floodlit by 40 metres of fairy lights and our campsite was the coolest on the block!

The beach was a lot further away than we had anticipated so while Hermann & Lynne went diving, Anya and I were pretty much stuck in camp with a troop of maurading monkeys. We hired a camp helper Yvonne who soon taught Anya how to chase the monkeys with a big stick while shouting HAMBA at the top of her voice. We drew the line when she tried to teach Anya how to use a catapult. Lynne and Hermann took a dive package over the first couple of days and saw lots of rays and turtles. Lynne did some deeper dives and even got to go swimming with a pod of passing dolphins. I pretty much spent my time either chasing Anya or chasing monkeys. It didn't help that the campsite was all sand so by the end of the day Anya looked like she had been up a chimney.

It was on day 3 of our break that Craig lost his finger! When he didn't return to camp after a day's fishing, we assumed that he was off to the pub. Then we got a message to say that he was on his way to the Richard's Bay hospital (2 hours away) after getting his finger chopped off. He was helping a friend bring his boat in, when the boat lurched forward and his finger was cut off between the boat and trailer. Ouch. Unperturbed, and doped up to the eyeballs with Miprodol, we picked him up the next day and he kept on camping. They breed them hardy over here. I'd have been off home like a shot.

Anya, Sasa and Luca loved the beach. They paddled in the rock pools and played in the waves. Anya just wants to spend all her time in the water - she's still not fussed about playing in the sand. We'd go to the beach early, then back to camp for a whopping fry up breakfast, chill out and then head back late afternoon. There was always the spectacle of some Gauteng loonies sinking their 4wd in the river channel to keep us amused.

Sean and Gitty's new tent proved irresistable to the kiddies who rampaged through it at every opportunity leaving a trail of dirt and sand everywhere. Even zips wouldn't keep Anya out which resulted in regular trips to the naughty chair. Luca also fought Anya for every toy that we had brought in a fairly continuous series of tantrums. So, between the kids and the monkeys, it wasn't the quietest or most relaxing campsite! No wonder copious amounts of gin were being drunk - also keeps the malaria at bay....er right.....

On our last afternoon, we took Craig's 4wd to Lake Sibaya. Gitty, Hermann, Sasa, Anya and I were loaded on the back. It was around an hours drive down sandy tracks, following the sand dunes up the coast. We got lost. Luckily there were loads of local people around to give us directions. Several small concussions from low flying branches and 1 (very small) river crossing later, we made it to the lake and then onto the beach. Those of us in the back of the bakkie had pretty much lost all feeling in our legs and bottoms by then and had to be heaved off. Luckily a restorative gin and tonic had been packed for sundowners. Luca and Anya played in the waves until they went blue, then we packed up and headed home.

Next day was the big pack up for going home - fighting off the monkeys all the way. Can't say we were too sad to see the back of them. And after a quick brekkie at Ilala Weavers, the long drive home. Phew!

Cape Town

Anya packs the essentials:

Apologies for everyone who has been waiting in anticipation for the next blog update (Mum, Dad - that pretty much narrows it down to you!) but Lynne and I have been extremely busy eating cake and drinking lots of hot chocolate now that it is getting rather chilly in Durbs (only 35 degrees here yesterday). We've also been doing a lot of washing! I've just about recovered from 10 days (and very long nights) in a tent with Anya, and now feel strong enough to record details of all our adventures?!

First things first. Cape Town was pretty cool. We had a fab little orange town house in Bo Kaap which was nice and central for pottering around town. Lynne's popped the photos on Facebook already. And we pretty much did all the touristy things that you are supposed to do. Here is a summary of Anya's thoughts on all our activities.

Robben Island - whaaaaaaaaaaaah whaaaaaaaaaaaah whahhhhhhhhhh (we don't know why we took her either)
Table Mountain - whaaaaaaaaaaah (too windy)
Cape Point - zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (too exhausting)
Kalky's Bay fish n chips - more garlic mayonnaise please!
Simon's Town & Penguins - PINGOOO PINGOO PINGOOO (shouted continuously in hyper excitement - although Anya did earn some extra brownie points by deciding to pose in random people's photographs)

We also made it to Groot Constantia for lunch (life's such a chore) and even managed to catch up with Dieter & Melanie.

Evita For President

You just wouldn't think there was going to be an election here in a couple of months time. There's no mad electioneering going on. No mass panic. No-one stocking up on the spam and bottled water. Life trundles on. Funnily enough, I don't seem to be on the mailing list for the ANC and therefore miss out on all the Jacob Zuma V COPE excitement. Even the Daily Sun doesn't rate politics as a headline grabber. Last Friday's headline was "My Uncle Wants My Balls!". Muti hunters beware...

It was therefore in true liberal white minority fashion, that we spent Friday evening at the theatre watching Evita Bezuidenhuit's one woman show - Elections and Erections! Evita is a cross between a South African Dame Edna Everage and Rory Bremner but possibly funnier. I was a bit worried that I wouldn't get the jokes (there's a fair sprinkling of Afrikaans) but found that even I could relate to the sketch on queueing at Home Affairs. I particularly liked the ventriliquist dummies of Thabo Mbeki (puts tippex in his beard to look more distinguished) and Jacob Zuma (looks like ET). Zuma even had his own portable shower, so that he could end the first act in style.

To sum up South Africa's place in world politics:
Barack Obama tells his government - YES WE CAN!
Evita tells our government - NO YOU CAN'T!

www.epp.org.za

Tala

Anya is loving Hannah's visit. The girls pretty much scream with excitment from the minute they get up (6am - or earlier) till the moment they go to sleep. Kath and I are exhausted! It took a trip to Woolies to stock up on picnic goodies before we could even consider a day trip to Tala - a small game reserve which is about an hour west of Durbs. Poor Kath had to sit in the back of the car, sandwiched between the 2 baby seats, while Anya did her best Hannah impression (that would be a very loud scream) for a whole hour. Our ears were ringing by the time we arrived. A slight reconfiguration of seats later (Jonny driving - me wrestling with Anya in the back - Kath being trampled by Hannah in the front) and off we went to see some animals. Luckily, you practically trip over the animals in Tala, so Hannah and Anya had lots to see - zebras, wildebeest, blessbok, ostriches, impalas, kudu and nyala. We stopped off at the picnic area for a snack, a cool down swim and then lunch. Anya fell asleep the instant she was put back in the car (she didn't even make it out the car park), a short spell of hippo and giraffe spotting later, and Hannah also fell asleep. Unfortunately for us, the girls woke up the minute we stopped to put the baby seats backs. Typical. Luckily they were good as gold on the way home, even when we stopped off at the Pav for a spot of shopping. Gluttons for punishment, we gave the girls an early tea and bath before heading out to Butcher Boys for a steak. Despite being pushed in her pram up and down Florida Road, Anya refused to go to sleep on command. In the end, Kath ordered her meal before us so that she could share it with Hannah (and Anya). Both girls passed out by the time our main courses arrived. I can't say it was one of the most relaxing meals out, but Jonny got his steak and everyone got to take the piss out of me when I drove them home (Kath sitting in the boot). And all because I drove down Florida Road without the lights on....

Ushaka - Wet N Wild

What do you do when its raining in Durban? Get wet anyway! Our plans for a quiet day on our return from Amatikulu were cast aside in favour of a day at Ushaka Marine World. First stop was the Wet N Wild water park. Anya and Hannah looked super cute in their matching dookers. Anya went down the baby slides on my knee and played in the fountains while Hannah did the bigger slides with Kath & Jonny. Later, everyone went down the big Jiggy Jiggy slide where you go down the chute in a rubber ring boat. Hannah screamed all the way down. Anya was open mouthed in surprise. But by the 3rd descent she had got the hang of it and was jumping up and down in excitement. When Anya had finally passed out with excitement (just before lunch), I took the opportunity to go down some slides with Kath while Jonny nursed his various sliding injuries - caused by one trip too many on the Long Drop (also knows as the ball breaker)! After lunch, and with Hannah and Anya refuelled and ready to go, we rampaged our way through the aquarium, stopped off to see the sharks being fed, then caught the last dolphin show of the day. We had so much fun we did it all again on Thursday.

Amatikulu

They obviously breed them hardy up North. That can be the only explanation for planning a camping weekend safe in the knowledge that the weather is going to be completely pish. A wee bit of rain never stopped us before, so as Saturday morning dawned, we packed our dookers (that's swimming costumes for all you non-Banffers) and prepared to get wet. Hermann went by motorbike so that there was room for Kath, Jonny & Hannah in the Tuscon. Two flat tyres later, and we had made it to Ballito! Luckily, we had to stock up on supplies anyway, so we had an hour break en-route while the tyres got plugged for R40 i.e. £3.08. An hour later we had all arrived safely at our destination - Amatikulu.

There isn't much game there - just the odd zebra and bush buck, but the main attraction of the reserve are the tents perched approx 10 feet off the ground, on large wooden verandas connected by boardwalks. There were great views over the forest canopy. Unfortunately we didn't see much of them due to the stress involved in containing Anya and Hannah. Safety barriers were non existant!! Luckily, the kitchen and dining room were in a separate bungalow so we could let them off the leash for some of the time.

We had a braai planned for later that evening. And, despite the stop over in Ballito we had somehow forgotton to buy charcoal. Even worse, the beer stocks were getting low!!!! Hermann and Jonny were sent back out to rectify the situation while we explored the riverside. Funnily enough they were back in no time, having found some dodgy shebeen up the road. They bought a selection of beers and Savannah's - all stinking of rotten meat. God knows what sort of freezer they were being stored in, but it says something about our state of mind, that after a quick wash in the sink, we drank them anyway. By this point the continuous rain had the added benefit of making absolutely everything damp. Including the beds. It was like sleeping on a sponge. I think I maybe got about 2 hours sleep.

Nevertheless, we were all up bright and possibly breezy (that would be the beer talking) on Sunday morning, eager to enjoy our trip to the beach. We weren't going to let just any old horizontal rain stop us. We decided that the beach proper was just a bit too far for the kiddies, so opted for a trip to the sandbar in the middle of the river instead. After dire warnings about the presence of crocodiles and bilharzia, we hired a canoe. Maybe hiring one canoe for 4 adults and 2 babies was not wise. Kath, Hannah, Anya and I attempted to paddle to the sandbar, canoes stuffed with bags, towels and shoes etc etc. I'd like to blame the presence of 2 small people on our inability to paddle, but in actual fact we managed to ground ourselves at least twice with very little interference. The boys were no help. Despite many pleads to come and save us - the water was only ankle deep - they left us to sink. In the end, Kath got out to push. We did check for crocodiles first. Eventually Hermann and Jonny hired a second canoe and joined us on the sandbar, where Anya threw herself face first into the bilharzia infested river (?!) and Hannah made sandcastles. The boys paddled round the sandbar until the kids had turned blue and it was officially time to turn back. I think this whole saga may have taken only an hour........

Warmed up and dried off, we headed out of the reserve and up the coast to the Prawn Shack for lunch. We didn't know what to expect. We certainly didn't expect to still be eating 4 hours and 7 courses later. We had lunch on the upper deck of the restaurant veranda. Anya and Hannah had a brilliant time dancing to reggae and shaking their maraccas. We had an interval down at the beach. The sun came out. There was a dog. All in all, it was Anya's recipe for a perfect afternoon.

On Monday morning Hermann headed back to Durban for work, while the rest of us went to Shakaland - not near Eshowe. In fact, despite the local attraction of the Super Rooster (its clucking good), there's not much to do in Eshowe. And Shakaland is nowhere near. Shakaland is in fact beside some orange trees. Despite Hermann's best directions we did eventually find the place, but it did involve winding down the window and accosting every passer by we saw.

As expected the dance show was the best bit. Hannah alternated between holding her hand over her ears in abject terror and clapping her hands. Anya was desperate to dance but didn't quite have the courage so bounced up and down while sandwiched between my legs. The buffet gave us all the squirts (lovely) but we still enjoyed it. Needless to say, we were all completely knackered when we finally got back to Durbs - but a very enjoyable start to Kath & Jonny's visit to SA!

Anya's New Diet

Not quite what the doctor ordered.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year everyone! Apologies for the late conveyancing of Hogmany good cheer, but we're just back from 4 nights up at White Elephant Game Reserve near Mkuze. We went with Laurie & Manfred from round the corner; their friends Paula & John who were visiting from the US and their kids. We were well stocked up with provisions in our self catering bush camp - no chance of catching any malaria because of the amount of gin & tonics which we were imbibing (for medicinal reasons of course). Not that socialising, and lounging in the pool were our only activities. We also managed to squeeze in a few game drives and guided walks. We even saw a jackal. And wild African bunnies. Now, it may seem quite wierd to go on game drives with a pram. However, Anya does get very very excited whenever she sees an animal and restraining an over excited toddler on bumpy dirt roads is a bit of a trauma. The pram came in very handy for keeping her safe, and she even managed to have a bit of a snooze en route.

Hogmany was celebrated at the MCC - Mkuze Country Club! There was even a band playing cheesy music. Line dancing was performed. And Stefan, closely followed by Anya, was the star of the dance floor. Anya had a little snooze prior to her late night shenanigans so was well up for a party. Just as well, because we didn't leave till quite late and then went back to the camp to see in the bells (what bells?) with a glass of champagne in front of the campfire.

As you can now imagine, we are suffering from terrible "back to work/reality" withdrawal symptoms. Luckily we are back on holiday next weekend when Kath, Jonny & Hannah come to visit. Yippee.