Those of you glued to the internet every day whilst pretending to work from home (you know who you are) may have noticed a slight decrease in my presence online. Alas, this is the result of the mysterious disappearance of my laptop.
A number of contributing factors came together last Saturday night which resulted in this mysterious disappearance.
1) Post baby shower party, my hands were too full of pressies to take laptop upstairs
2) Post baby shower party, boys are very drunk, impeding decision to switch on our very expensive alarm system due to the potential for night time snacks and toilet stops.
3) Perimeter wall defences are not yet completed - see recurring complaint regarding building work
4) Thief with very nice trainers and coathanger wire just happens to be passing by.
The disappearance of the laptop was not noticed for quite some time. It then took several hours to eliminate the possibility that the laptop had been put "somewhere safe". This involved checking on top of cupboards, in the freezer, behind mattresses, under beds and other well known Hermann "safe spots".
Finally the trail led outside and sure enough, there were footprints up the wall and the discarded coathanger wire that our thief had used to force open the window. We can only assume that the presence of a pregnancy impaired bladder spooked the burglar therefore saving the DSTV box from a similar fate.
Hermann has now spent the week transforming the house into Fort Knox. We have a delightful trim of razor wire decorating the top of our perimeter wall and the windows have locks top and bottom to stop the catches being forced. The front flower beds have even been planted with spikey plants! Every man and his dog is now phoning to check on me while Hermann is away and I have strict instructions to put on the alarm and press the big red panic button should I require any assistance during the night.
Nevertheless, the following questions immediatly popped into my brain:
1) Will the Chubb Security Man pop round to take the very stiff bath plug out of the bath?
2) How adept is he at catching naughty bunnies?
3) Is it an emergency if I can´t reach to put my shoes and socks on?
Answers on a postcard please......
Monday, July 30, 2007
Frequent Showers in KZN
Massive floods have been spotted in Montcalm Road - it is now very hard to find our bedroom under a sea of pink baby clothes. I had 2 surprise baby showers last week - one held by my German School and another by Brigitte. I now have 57 separate outfits in the 0-3 month age range. It appears Froona has already morphed into the Imelda Marcos of Morningside. At this rate we won´t be needing the washing machine (which is just as well because it still leaks).
Mental note to self: do not turn up at surprise party and tell host "its a minging night for a BBQ".
Mental note to self: do not turn up at surprise party and tell host "its a minging night for a BBQ".
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Craptastic!
The solution to our elevated toilets (the pipes are too high so the toilets don't reach the floor) - appears to involve sticking them on an inch of concrete and then covering them with orange grout.
Lovely - our toilets now have 'go faster stipes'!
Lovely - our toilets now have 'go faster stipes'!
Monday, July 16, 2007
Tour De Kruger is Saved
The baby has turned - its swum towards the light meaning that Hermann no longer has to cancel his Tour De Kruger to watch me getting cut in half.
He's going to be away for 10 days in total, but for the 4 days of the tour he will be contactable by satellite phone only.
Just to make sure he doesn't miss anything essential - we're going back to Dr Dave the day before Hermann leaves to check how 'ripe' I am (eurgh)
He's going to be away for 10 days in total, but for the 4 days of the tour he will be contactable by satellite phone only.
Just to make sure he doesn't miss anything essential - we're going back to Dr Dave the day before Hermann leaves to check how 'ripe' I am (eurgh)
New Arrivals
The Kistner family has 2 new arrivals, yippee. The bunny stork landed on Saturday (thanks Brenda) with 2 little baby girls - Bongile and Phumuzile.
So far they have attempted to nibble the skirtng boards, the sofa, my trousers and Hermann's shirt. Bongile (on the left)is the more adventurous of the pair while Phumuzile (on the right) is a bit more cautious.
Hermann is going to make them a hutch for the veranda - in the meantime they are 'contained' in a large cardboard box in the living room.
... and Mum - I know what your first reaction is going to be - but they can't go back because Brenda's brother-in-law breeds bunnies for python food. They've been saved from the big snake!!
Sunday, July 8, 2007
Working From Home
As you can see from the photos, working from home has some advantages – especially if home for the day is Hluhluwe. There were various interruptions to Hermann’s “work” – namely giraffes, rhinos, warthogs, hyenas and a proliferation of elephants.
We thought we had struck lucky seeing a herd of about 20 elephants at the Imfolozi side of the game reserve, so it was a bonus to find a lone bull elephant on the road to Memorial Gate. 20 minutes later the novelty of examining a bull elephant’s backside at close quarters was wearing a bit thin. Finally, he stepped off the road to examine a particularly juicy looking bush and we took advantage of the chance to slip past – only to round the corner and get stuck in the middle of a massive herd of elephants, all of whom had decided to cross the road. We were surrounded on all sides. It took 45 minutes before the traffic jam moved on and we could drive out the reserve.
We stayed outside the park, at the Hluhluwe River Lodge driving back to the game reserve via the Memorial Gate for morning and afternoon game drives. This meant running the gauntlet of elephant alley every time we entered or exited the park. I have now made a mental note NOT to eat a bag of ripe fragrant pears while waiting for the now familiar elephant traffic jam to pass. One inquisitive elephant, its trunk quivering at the thought of a tasty treat, was practically inside the car before Hermann managed to get the car into reverse gear and beat a hasty retreat.
We had a fantastic weekend, spotting leopard shaped trees, rhino shaped rocks and also the occasional bona fide animal, but it wouldn’t be a holiday without me being sick at some point during the proceedings. True to form, during Saturday’s dinner I had to make a very swift exit, leaving Hermann to make alternative dinner arrangements. He was very concerned – he told me that he had run back to our lodge so fast that he nearly spilt his wine!
We thought we had struck lucky seeing a herd of about 20 elephants at the Imfolozi side of the game reserve, so it was a bonus to find a lone bull elephant on the road to Memorial Gate. 20 minutes later the novelty of examining a bull elephant’s backside at close quarters was wearing a bit thin. Finally, he stepped off the road to examine a particularly juicy looking bush and we took advantage of the chance to slip past – only to round the corner and get stuck in the middle of a massive herd of elephants, all of whom had decided to cross the road. We were surrounded on all sides. It took 45 minutes before the traffic jam moved on and we could drive out the reserve.
We stayed outside the park, at the Hluhluwe River Lodge driving back to the game reserve via the Memorial Gate for morning and afternoon game drives. This meant running the gauntlet of elephant alley every time we entered or exited the park. I have now made a mental note NOT to eat a bag of ripe fragrant pears while waiting for the now familiar elephant traffic jam to pass. One inquisitive elephant, its trunk quivering at the thought of a tasty treat, was practically inside the car before Hermann managed to get the car into reverse gear and beat a hasty retreat.
We had a fantastic weekend, spotting leopard shaped trees, rhino shaped rocks and also the occasional bona fide animal, but it wouldn’t be a holiday without me being sick at some point during the proceedings. True to form, during Saturday’s dinner I had to make a very swift exit, leaving Hermann to make alternative dinner arrangements. He was very concerned – he told me that he had run back to our lodge so fast that he nearly spilt his wine!
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Illegal Alien
The road to gaining temporary residency has not been smooth. Our first trip to the Home Affairs Office, ended up with us being mistaken for refugees. We finally went back again this morning, armed with a large wad of paperwork, only to be told that my tourist visa had expired and that we were in 'hot water'. We thought this was quite funny until we realised that they weren't joking.
Apparently I didn't get a new 3 month visa when I arrived in May as the temporary visa from our visit in March was still valid - until it ran out June...
This presented us with a bit of a pickle. I am now too pregnant to fly back to the UK, and apparently, a 'quick' visa trip to Swaziland (10 hour drive there and back) wasn't going to be sufficient. Oops! Some serious grovelling, a lot of forms and an elaborate letter explaining the circumstances surrounding our late application and we were ready to submit ourselves to the mercy of the South African immigration service. We were given instructions to return at 12.30pm.
Back home, we decided to keep a low profile while we considered the options:
1) Deportation back to the UK (is business class an option for deportees?)
2) A R1000 fine and a big nasty red stamp in my passport (may affect future visa applications)
3) Nice man overlooks slight visa irregularity and we can all breathe a sigh of relief.
Looking on the bright side, are deportees allowed to exit the country with an empty suitcase and return with an Ikea cupboard and set of John Lewis blinds? On the other hand, would I become persona non grata in South Africa leaving a gap in the kitchen and forever solving the 'SA v UK' debate?
I passed the morning, attempting to elicit sympathy from family & friends by email. Not surprisingly reaction was mixed, however, I can confirm that I am not flying back into Glasgow Airport and am therefore unlikely to be suspected of carrying a weapon of mass destruction round my middle.
At 12.30pm exactly, we were back at the Home Affairs Office counter number 7, awaiting the verdict. Hooray for Rajiv - within a couple of minutes we had a fully stamped passport containing a visa allowing me to stay until June 2008.
Apparently I didn't get a new 3 month visa when I arrived in May as the temporary visa from our visit in March was still valid - until it ran out June...
This presented us with a bit of a pickle. I am now too pregnant to fly back to the UK, and apparently, a 'quick' visa trip to Swaziland (10 hour drive there and back) wasn't going to be sufficient. Oops! Some serious grovelling, a lot of forms and an elaborate letter explaining the circumstances surrounding our late application and we were ready to submit ourselves to the mercy of the South African immigration service. We were given instructions to return at 12.30pm.
Back home, we decided to keep a low profile while we considered the options:
1) Deportation back to the UK (is business class an option for deportees?)
2) A R1000 fine and a big nasty red stamp in my passport (may affect future visa applications)
3) Nice man overlooks slight visa irregularity and we can all breathe a sigh of relief.
Looking on the bright side, are deportees allowed to exit the country with an empty suitcase and return with an Ikea cupboard and set of John Lewis blinds? On the other hand, would I become persona non grata in South Africa leaving a gap in the kitchen and forever solving the 'SA v UK' debate?
I passed the morning, attempting to elicit sympathy from family & friends by email. Not surprisingly reaction was mixed, however, I can confirm that I am not flying back into Glasgow Airport and am therefore unlikely to be suspected of carrying a weapon of mass destruction round my middle.
At 12.30pm exactly, we were back at the Home Affairs Office counter number 7, awaiting the verdict. Hooray for Rajiv - within a couple of minutes we had a fully stamped passport containing a visa allowing me to stay until June 2008.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
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